Four days ago I decided to make a change. It’s not the first time I’ve planned on giving up alcohol, but I’m hoping that it will be the last.
So there’s this common misbelief that if you give up alcohol, well, then you must of course be a raging alcoholic. Because why would someone who is not an alcoholic choose to ditch the booze if they weren’t sick with the disease?
Maybe because they’re tired of waking up feeling just a little bit fragile? Or foggy?
Maybe because of the weight gain, tired eyes, sleep interruption and overall feeling of blah on those days after they’ve swallowed a gut-full of wine?
Maybe because I read that when you drink too much, your brain gets dehydrated and literally shrinks. Yes, shrinks!! And, well, I kind of like my brain the size that it is, thank you very much.
For me, it was all of the above (especially the brain thing), plus more. I’m just plain tired of the cycle: Drink wine. Sleep (poorly.) Wake up feeling groggy, plus guilty for having drank that one more glass. Telling myself at 8 am that today I will abstain. Today will be a zero wine day. And then, when 5 o’clock rolls around, giving in to the wine witch who quietly whispers, “You’ve had a long day. Pop open a bottle. Yea, pick a good one. You deserve it!”
I don’t care about whether I fit anyone’s definition of alcohol addict or whatever other label there is around drinking just a little too much. The point is that I didn’t like what alcohol was doing for me. And what it was taking from me. The bottles of wine I was consuming were definitely having some negative physical consequences. And yet…I continued, in spite of them.
So, four days ago I decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I banished the conniving wine witch and embarked on this journey to get healthy. I’m going to be 55 years old in a few months, and I want to look in that mirror and see a strong, confident woman who is healthy and happy and in control of her life.
And so, if you have stumbled across this online journal, please wish me luck, and check in to see how I’m doing. Thanks!